| (no subject) |
[Jan. 25th, 2007|03:33 pm] |
| [ | soundtrack |
| | say it aint so | ] |
today is my 21st birthday. everyones at work except me.
last night sofia suprised me with balloons. then we did laundry and folded it all. taryn came over and we played skip-bo. after that we went to pops, where we go every night. when we got there melia yelled hey to sofia from behind the bar and i stood there looking around trying not to notice. sofia and taryn bought a pitcher and sofia got herself a shot. when we got to our table sofia had 2 shots of whiskey. she said melia poored it for to show she was accepting that so and i were together. whatever. i got wasted off of free birthday shots of whiskey from people i barely knew. thank you. and you, sir. and you, miss. christelle showed up eventually and she got her crowd to sing me a happy birthday. i stood happy and drunk. she said at our exctasy party on friday i got my pills for free. haaaappy birthday.
two days ago i found out that my father has been cheating on my mother for the past 2 years. some asian lady.
when mom had to move to the u.s. it wasn't cause the family needed money. was it? when you told her she had to find a place to live there, you were just setting her up. setting her up so you could sneak away guiltless. so it wouldn't feel like you were raping her of her life. when you said you didn't want to come to the u.s. before christmas, it wasn't because you couldn't afford the flight. it's because you wanted to be with her. in our apartment. in our home.
what world have you created for yourself where you think this is ok. where is my father? who is my father? what have you done with him?
i spent that night tossing and turning, getting up once in a while to vomit. maybe i can vomit you out of me. your blood, your genes, all of you. |
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